For those of you who haven’t had a chance to turn in to my live Periscope on Thursday nights (6pm MST @smrtsexintimacy) please join us! Periscopes are available for 24 hours after every show.
I am currently writing this blog while sitting on a plane, headed out to Los Angeles. If you are in the LA area and want to schedule a one on one session or have me come hang out at a panel/podcast or other fun venue, please let me know! LA is only a short flight from my wonderful home in Salt Lake city.
Today we’re going to talk about kissing, which is one of my favorite topics. I get that I say that about most topics, but that’s probably why I became a sexologist instead of just a health ed teacher like I’d planned. It dawned on me that I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to write this or what I was going to say on the podcast, so I’m just going to talk about the benefits and share some random dinner table facts/tricks.
Kissing is the act of putting your mouth hole onto someone else’s body. Many people kiss culturally to say hello, some kisses are romantic, some kisses are friendly, some kisses are comforting and some kisses are silly. Kissing is a fairly universal concept globally and has many different reasons for being used.
Dinner table fact #1: Kissing is great for your teeth/oral health.
Your mouth is full of millions of different bacteria that are unique to you. If you practice good oral hygiene, these bacteria are friendly and good for your mouth. If you have unhealthy teeth/gums, you are able to pass some of those naughty bacteria to potential partners. When you kiss you’re giving someone else loads of your mouth bacteria like a little mouth vitamin. You’re sharing healthy bacteria in a way that allows the other body to learn to build up stronger bacteria.
Feel free to use that as a pick up line, especially with your sexy, nerdy friends.
People also start kissing at many different ages. Some people chase their classmates around the playground in primary school and kiss them, some people wait until marriage. There is no ‘right time’ when it comes to kissing as long as you and the other potential people you’re smooching are all comfortable with it.
Random fact: My first kiss was at 17— comment below how old you were!!
Like with all sexual activities, everyone has their own style and technique. Some people are wet kissers, some people kiss with a little tongue, some are always closed mouth and some open their mouths so wide you can almost fit your mouth in their mouth. There is no wrong way to kiss, or no bad style, just your style. You can always change and often times do adapt, to new styles based on partners. If you want to see how you rank, I suggest you ask questions in a way that you will not be offended by the answer.
For example, saying “Am I a bad/good kisser?” to a partner point blank may make them feel awkward because they’re on the spot. Maybe they like kissing you because they like you, but your style may not be their favorite. You could possibly phrase it as “How do you like to be kissed?” to take a little pressure off them from feeling like they’re critiquing you. In that dialogue you may learn that they like less tongue and you remember you’ve been using tongue a lot— easy way for you to learn how to change without the sometimes awkward silence as the other party figures out what to say.
Dinner table fact #2: Kissing helps increase testosterone
Males typically have more testosterone in their bodies than females, and testosterone is a sexual hormone that helps with sex drive and increasing sex drive. When you kiss, and kiss for long enough, testosterone in a male’s saliva will get into your partner’s mouth and help increase their testosterone and thus help increase sex drive. Take away: Make out, Make out, Make out!!
To close I just wanted to encourage you all to relax just a little about whether or not you’re a good or bad kisser and pay slightly more attention to the cues your partner is sending to you.
Cant wait to post next week on sexual self esteem!!